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  • Kim Smith, M.Ed

Controlling the Now

“To change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions.” I wish I could take credit for this quote, but that credit belongs to esteemed author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R Covey. One of the core concepts of his book is around providing Psychoeducation on our Circle of Control. Too often in my field I see people struggling because they are trying to take control in spaces or situations where they simply don’t have any control and never will. Their perception has been skewed. The result of this being peaked anxiety, irritability and overall unhappiness. This reigns even more true in the spirt of COVID-19 this year. So many people have spent this year isolated from the people and habits that for lack of a better word, kept them sane. I don’t know about y’all bit right before all this hit, I felt that I was finally in a space of getting my life together. And just like that I suddenly had to change my whole perception of the world and how I maneuver it.


So, what skews these perceptions? More often than not it is focusing too much on either the past or the future, instead of making the most of the present. The past is what is and cannot be changed. The future no matter how much you plan for it is undetermined and forever changing. The only thing anyone has control over is living for now and making the most of the moments and opportunities right in front of them. Now this is probably the part where you are hoping for me to give you some token words of wisdom on how to do that. Truth be told, I’m still figuring out my Damn Self! But I can let you know what I have determined so far. It all comes down to one word, GRATITUDE.


Just be grateful for what’s right in front of you. Grateful for the people who have survived the pandemic. Grateful for the people who have stepped it up and been creative in staying in touch when face to face access is limited. Grateful for all that you still have despite what you may have loss. Grateful for a charming blog to encourage you along the way (lol). Too often we minimize our blessings, our successes, our strength. If you want to control the now, use those things to propel you forward no matter what obstacles come your way.


Questions? Comments? Concerns?

As always, put them in the comment section below. Also Share 3 things you are grateful for this year if you feel compelled. I’ll start, I’m grateful for stable health, a steady job, and all the love and support I have received this year form family and friends.

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