• Kim Smith, M.Ed, LPC

I Heard A Bad Betch Forgot Their Worth!

I HEARD A BAD BITCH FORGOT THEIR WORTH!... for like the past 6 months. Oh, wait was that just me? Probably not…Well here is your reminder to get yourself back on track, Heck! To remind myself.

When I say I have been feeling so stuck in my life the past few months! So unmotivated, so indifferent, so irritable and lethargic, so using all the maladaptive coping skills. I promise I’m not exaggerating! But the fact of the matter is we all go through these periods in time, we all forget just how powerful or valuable we are and end up just going through the motions. For me what that looked like was being in a job where I was overworked, underpaid, and dismissed every time I tried to speak out on the level of burnout I was experiencing. It’s emotionally draining to feel as though you are pouring so much into others and not getting that same energy poured back into you. So, I gave up fighting. The creative nature I had so much pride and value in came to a complete standstill. It’s almost as though I got to a place where I just accepted my situation and lost sight of how much power I had to change it.

This is definitely not an uncommon practice. A lot of people get settled in routine. As frustrating as the situation may be its familiar and trying to step out of change the situation is scary. It’s in the moments where you have to take some serious reflection on what you are sacrificing in self to be comfortable. The best way to identify a sacrifice is to start with identifying the core values of who you are. Core values is a concept that for the sake of this blog is going to be approached in the context of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). According to ACT trainer Russ Harris, ACT is best described as a type of therapy that aims to help people accept what is out of their control and commit instead to actions that enrichen their lives. A basic way of doing so is to identify those core parts of ourselves that bring us joy and enrichment. What characteristics and skills do you love about yourself? And how do you go about taking action steps to prioritize those things in your daily life and social interactions.

Upon some self-reflection I found that I was ignoring clear signs that went against my core values in both my work life and dating life. I know that I am an intellectual and need to surround myself by fellow intellectuals to feel free to be my true an authentic self. I especially need that in a potential partner because I am beyond over dumbing myself down to make a man feel better about themselves. I need a partner who can go from acting like a complete fool for no reason but pure entertainment, to someone who can sit and have a serious conversation on various social issues. I crave that adaptability because that is part of who I am and how I live my life. In my work life I need a setting who will not only pay me what I’m worth based on my past experience and different certifications, but also give me the opportunity to build and hone in on my craft as a therapist. I def forgot that shit over the past few months! I was dating people who didn’t match my level of intellect because they seemed like just good dudes...and were Hella fine!! But didn’t have any ambitions outside of that and were way too comfortable in complacency. I was in a job that was emotionally draining and expecting more of me than willing to pay, as well as passing me up for promotions that I was more than qualified for. My excuse being, I don’t want to let my clients down. Noble reason, but also stupid. A BAD BETCH FORGOT HER WORTH!

I don’t want to ever make that mistake again, nor do I want to see others do the same. We each have so much to offer and no matter friend, family, or job you have the right to remove yourself from that situation. You deserve to be fulfilled and accepted for every aspect of you are. Sometimes what we want in a moment is not what we need for our greater purpose. Paraphrasing the wise words of Meg The Stallion…YOU ARE DAT BITCH! WILL FOREVER BE THAT BITCH! Don’t dim your light for anybody else’s comfortability.


Questions? Comments? Concerns?

List some of your core values below in the comment section. Share ways you can better prioritize them in your life moving forward.

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